Dreams

Dreams can be a scary thing. I'm not talking about the dreams that wake you up at night in a cold sweat, I'm talking about the dreams that live in your heart; the desires of your heart.

There the things that get us up out of bed in the mornings; the things we hope for. There are also the things that tend to scare us the most and sometimes the thing we give up on the easiest. Dreams are hard to nurture in our busy world and even harder to hold onto if you have experienced the painful, bitter taste of defeat. Its hard to keep getting up just to get knocked back down again. It's easier to just stay down, not to put yourself out there; it's easier not to take a risk.

When I was young, I had millions of dreams and had the courage to pursue them. Isn't that the great thing about being young? When your young and you haven't felt the crushing blow of failure too often, you can believe anything is possible! But somewhere along the way, after being knocked down by failure one too many times, I lost the ability to believe in my dreams. I came close to losing the ability to dream at all. I had begun to believe that life was a series of unfortunate events and that if one dared hope for better, they would just be disappointed. Can I tell you it is exhausting to feel that way??

One of those dreams that I had abandoned for fear of failure was being a writer. I remember as a child I would write books, make covers out of cardboard, and do my own illustrations. This was one dream that I could not give up on, so I wrote. I wrote in secret. I wrote at night after my kids and husband had gone to bed. I wrote on snow days and summer breaks, and finally I had a completed book. Did I mention that I didn't tell anyone about this book? Fear is a powerful emotion and I kept letting it win over me. I finally showed the book to my husband. He was so encouraging! I began searching for a way to publish, but the publishing world is a harsh one. I finally self published through Kindle Direct Publishing and three months later my dream of becoming a paid author came true! Now granted that first payment was only for a little over $10, but hey everybody has to start somewhere, right?

Now that I have gotten a little taste of what its like to have dream, work for it and see it come true.... I can't wait to keep dreaming.

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